CREATIVE CONVERSATIONS 154: CHEZ ON VULNERABILITY THROUGH SONGWRITING TO CREATE SHARED EXPERIENCES

Interview by Brooke Gibbs.

Futuremag Music sat down with Boorloo/Perth-based pop artist CHEZ to discuss the release of her new single, honeY. This new sound from CHEZ touches on her internal battles of self-doubt and low self-esteem when in a relationship.

FMM: This is such an exciting day for you because honeY comes out tomorrow. How are you feeling?

CHEZ: I'm feeling really excited. I'm nervous a little, only because of the topic of the song. It's a little sensitive and something that I haven't really been open to talking about. But yes, so nervous for that, but very, very excited to get it out at the same time.

FMM: How are you celebrating? You mentioned you've been spending today doing a lot of content, but do you have any big celebrations planned?

CHEZ: I do, actually. Tomorrow night, I'm going to be hanging out with some of my nearest and dearest, so we're just going to get together, play the song, have a bit of fun. I'm very, very excited to do that and celebrate with my friends and my family.

FMM: Sounds lovely. The song looks like it's already getting some really positive feedback because I saw that Triple J has already done some reviews and I've seen the comments going off on your Instagram and Facebook.

CHEZ: Yeah, it's going really well. It's been a nerve-wracking process recently with the latest releases, only because we've taken such a shift sound wise. It was very pop-punky in the beginning, and these last two singles are just really so good. And honeY's coming out; they're very different, more pop, more alternative and I've been really nervous to share that, but seeing the reaction is still filled with so much love is honestly more than I could have expected. I'm very, very excited and I really, really appreciate that it's been digested well.

FMM: I love the sound change with honeY and I’m excited for other people to hear it as well. It’s just so catchy. I don't know if you've got a background in dancing, but it just reminds me of a dance anthem track.

CHEZ: Thank you so much. It does make you want to dance. I've got video compilations of us in the studio just making it and we're all losing it dancing because it does have this like shoulder-bop kind of vibe to it. I love it.

FMM: You mentioned you're a bit nervous for this one because of the topic, so how did you know when you were ready to share this with the world?

CHEZ: God, I don't know. It's funny, when we started writing this song, we kind of just did it over the drum and bass loop and it was kind of just mumbling random things and then all of a sudden, ‘you can call me honeY but I think it's kind of funny that you like me’ just fell out. It felt so natural. That's kind of the first thing that fell out of my mouth. It took a second because I was like, oh wow, that's actually something very, very serious and very, very relatable to myself. Then, we kind of explored previous relationships that I have been in growing up in a single-parent home and all of those self-esteem issues that you have gained from horrible relationships that you've been in and then being in a really good and healthy relationship, which I am in now.

And I get to write with my partner who helped me co-write this song and just being like, you know, you have those days where you just look at your partner and they say how much they love you and you're just like, sorry, but why do you like me? I knew that it had to be shared with how easy those words came out because normally I'm terrified to be vulnerable, to peel back layers, to let people in because I just feel like my story is not worth telling or the fear of judgment. I knew when we were writing and that fell out of my mouth so easily that it was time and it needed to be shared because it's so relatable to so many people as well.

FMM: It’s an experience and feeling that causes some anxiety for you as well as that internal, negative self-talk, so as a songwriter and having to revisit those feelings on a deeper level to make a song, how do you balance sharing your story with not worsening your mental health?

CHEZ: Oh God, it's terrifying. Honestly, I think the biggest thing that has helped me so much is who I'm writing with. I'm very lucky. Like I said, my partner is actually my co-writer, Reece, and our producer who helps us out as well is my brother-in-law, Caleb. I've got a very safe environment and I feel like I've been in rooms before where you're kind of writing songs with random people and to be able to let those walls down, I could never do it because I just didn't know if I could trust what I was saying to these people. I find it very hard to open up to new people. It takes me a long time to build that trust and be able to be vulnerable with somebody. I think what makes such a big deal to me is having those people that I feel safe with. Sometimes we'll start writing something deep and I'm gonna need a little cry. We can cry together, but it's more therapeutic in a way because you're doing it in such a safe environment. Does that make sense?

FMM: Definitely. I think it helps because I didn't realise that one of the co-writers was also your partner, so having that safe place also helps the process. How do you balance that personal and professional relationship in a vulnerable sense?

CHEZ: Yeah, I get that one a lot, actually. Reece and I, we were actually best friends since we were four years old, so we went to primary and high school together. He's always been someone in my life that I can turn to. We've always been the music nerds, essentially. When we wanted to write music or to perform music, we kind of always did that together and it takes time. There's obviously disagreements, creative disagreements, even relationship disagreements, but we've made it this far. And like I said, I think it's more the safe thing. I feel safe with him in my art and I feel safe with him in our relationship. It's obviously hard work, like anything, but what helps as well is the understanding and being with someone who's also within the music industry, you understand the struggles, you understand the separation, the touring, all of that trust that you have to build as well. But also, just that this is a once in a lifetime thing that not everybody gets to do. It's a challenge, of course, but I wouldn't picture doing it with anybody else.

FMM: And I think it has its advantages too, because obviously he knows you on a personal level, but since you guys go way back, he's also been there since the start of your music career, knows your music quite well and knows your long-term goals both musically but also personally.

CHEZ: Yeah, sometimes I think he understands me more than I understand myself sometimes, so it’s good.

FMM: Yeah, I guess that helps, especially when there is feelings of self-doubt and releasing music that can be very personal and vulnerable.

CHEZ: Mm. For sure.

FMM: You mentioned that this is a relatable experience, which inspired you to share it with the world, so how are you hoping people resonate with honeY and what are you hoping they take away with them?

CHEZ: This song touches on a lot of themes. It touches on the obviously low self-esteem, self-doubt, being in a relationship and obviously struggling with those things. A couple lines mentioned struggles with weight as well, which I don't take lightly. For the past five years, I've put on a significant amount of weight and whilst it's surface-level within the song, I just really want people to listen to this and I just want to make them feel better. I want to make them not feel so alone. There are people struggling with all of these things and we still see them and we still find them so beautiful and that's the main thing.

It's funny because the song lyrically is so heavy to me but track-wise, it's kind of fun and sarcastic in a way. I want people to listen and just dance to it and it's like, okay, I'm not going to take myself so seriously today. Yes, I've got these insecurities, but I know I'm beautiful. I know people see me. I know people are experiencing this as well. It's terrifying, but that's the one thing that I do hope they take from it. I don't want it to be a song that they go listen to in their bedroom and cry to. If it is that for them, fantastic. You’ve got to do what you got to do, but essentially, yes, I just want it to be a song you put on, you dance when you're feeling down and it just makes you feel that little bit better.

FMM: I like that you mentioned that it is kind of sarcastic and taking the fun out of it as well, because you have to. Especially when you are sharing something personal with people that don't know you. So many strangers will be listening to this.

CHEZ: Yeah, yeah, it is, it's terrifying. I think that's what made it somewhat easier as well to talk about because it is over something so fun and you do just want to kind of dance to it, so it kind of adds that light-heartedness to it. Doesn't make it so serious and so sad and emo. It just makes people feel better and most importantly feel seen.

FMM: And I think it will because as I said, just listening to it, it's a total dance track, so even if someone doesn't relate to the lyrics, they're definitely going to just vibe with the sound of it overall.

CHEZ: Yeah, exactly. That's the plan. Hopefully everyone likes it.

FMM: It looks like there's a music video coming out because I looked on your socials and I've seen little snippets. Without giving too much away, can you tell us more about what’s coming visually?

CHEZ: I can't say much honestly, but visually we've done some fun things with a bunch of my friends and I can't wait to share those videos. It was so much fun being able to film content with them. It's just a bunch of fun clips to be posting on social media, so I'm very, very excited to share that.

FMM: Yes. You can do so much with it. I saw on your Instagram stories that people are already making memes before honeY has even been released.

CHEZ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when I know we've got a goodie because people have been sending me memes all week so it's been hilarious. It’s fun. I love it. It’s so exciting.

FMM: Looking at your other career highlights, I've seen that you shared the stage with some amazing people, and bands I love including PVRIS and Against The Current. What are some of your career highlights as a musician?

CHEZ: Honestly, those tours would have to be it. I was in a band previously since 2014 and started this solo project at the beginning of 2022. Going from a band perspective to being completely solo was absolutely terrifying and it's taken me a very, very long time to adjust to that to being like okay, yes, you're a solo person, like what do I have to say? Personally for myself, it's been a journey and during that obviously I've been dealing with a bunch of anxiety and depression during that. But, getting these tours somehow made me feel like I'm doing it, especially growing up in Perth. It's such a small town and small-minded community in a way. There is multiple conversations that I've had with people who have asked me when I’m going to get a real job, telling me I should do a 9 to 5 or go to university.

Music has always been a battle and dealing with going from a band project to a solo project and then also questioning if it’s even going to work out in the first place, thinking maybe I should just quit and get a normal job. When I got the first tour I booked, it was actually a year ago. It was with Against The Current and then not too long later, I booked with PVRIS and Magnolia Park. Then, I finally felt like, hey, maybe I’m doing it. Those shows specifically were a big turning point for me because from there, I started to feel more like myself, felt more confident on stage, and I started growing on social media and in my writing.

It kind of hand a domino effect. This year has just been very, very successful. I'm very, very proud of what we have achieved this year. I’m very. very grateful to be doing this because I know there’s so many people out there who are trying their hardest and who have been doing this for so long. I’m very, very grateful to be given these opportunities.

FMM: It’s interesting to hear you talk about the transition going from a band to a solo artist, because previously you would have had other people on stage with you to depend on, and having people there to support you if something went wrong live, but now it’s your own moment and it can sometimes feels like it’s on you to keep the show going, instead of having that teamwork.

CHEZ: Yeah, it’s terrifying. I’m very lucky because I’ve been in bands my entire life, so I still bring a band with me for these shows and everything. It was a challenge for sure, but I think it’s made me grow more as a person and I wouldn’t be who I am today without having that transition, so I’m grateful for it.

FMM: I just want to add, don’t let anyone tell you to get a real job, because we have to normalise that you can pursue careers in music. I feel like there’s so much pressure with people telling artists to get a real job, or that this isn’t going to make you money, but you’re someone who’s proving you can achieve your dreams and you can tour with great people, making a career out of this.

CHEZ: Thank you. I appreciate that. I’m going to replay that every single time I have a self-doubt day. Thank you.

FMM: Well, next time someone tells you to go get a real job, ask them when the last time was they shared a stage with PVRIS or Against The Current.

CHEZ: Exactly. That is what I'm going to say. Thank you for that.

FMM: That's probably more memorable than any office job or a stable 9 to 5 career.

CHEZ: Exactly, exactly. The thought of getting up and doing the same, boring desk job every single day… and I get the opportunity to go off and tour Australia, see the world, and do it with people I love. I just think that’s so freaking cool. I mean, each to their own. If a desk job’s for you, I’m proud, but it’s just not for me.

FMM: It sounds like you’re growing a lot by not doing the same thing every day. There’s a lot of variety in what you’re doing and it’s unpredictable. One day you’re on the same stage as PVRIS, and one day you’re making videos and social media content.

CHEZ: It’s very different, honestly. Never a dull moment, that’s for sure.

FMM: Do you have any upcoming gigs you want to plug?

CHEZ: I do. I’m very, very excited. I’ve got a show supporting a band in November, but I can’t mention that one just yet because that isn’t being announced, but it’s in my hometown of Perth. Then, I’m so excited because I’m going on tour with Set It Off in November around Australia, so that’s going to be so, so, so much fun. It’s going to be one of the biggest tours that I’ve been a part of, so I’m very, very stoked. I’m going to be supporting them with another band from Brizzy called Friends of Friends. Yeah, that one is going to be a goodie. We can’t wait for that.

FMM: I’m curious, after hearing your hometown is Perth, what’s it like there establishing a music career as opposed to being in a bigger city like Sydney or Melbourne?

CHEZ: It’s funny, I think, because I’ve done so many shows around Perth, I have a small community which I adore and I love. I just find it’s so hard to break it in your hometown for some reason, so getting the opportunity to go over, I guess you don’t.

I have less nerves because I get to go out there, just be me and not feel this judgement of all these people I went to school with or that I used to work with, or something like that. I find it more fun. It’s a great experience in Melbourne and Brisbane. It’s been mainly Melbourne, Brisbane and Sydney that we’ve played shows in and the songs have been well digested by the crowds. We’ve grown a really, really great fanbase and community because of these shows, so I find it’s been a really positive experience so far.